After three weeks of working with psychologists, the participants’ views change. They begin to smile sincerely! Masha Yefrosinina, the founder of the Masha Foundation, and Yana, one of the “Unbreakable Mom” program participants, talked about her internal changes and why Ukrainian women are afraid to ask for help.
Yana is a mother of three girls from a small village in the Buchansky District. From February 24 to April 1, she and her family lived under occupation. All this time, Yana had to be very strong: to calm the children, save her husband after he had been tortured by the military, and take care of her sister whose husband had disappeared. She also had to take care of two elderly couples who lived next door, and feed the animals that the neighbors left behind when they fled the village.
Yana is a mother of three girls from a small village in the Buchansky District. From February 24 to April 1, she and her family lived under occupation. All this time, Yana had to be very strong: to calm the children, save her husband after he had been tortured by the military, and take care of her sister whose husband had disappeared. She also had to take care of two elderly couples who lived next door, and feed the animals that the neighbors left behind when they fled the village.
Yana found out about the “Unbreakable Mom” program from the chat room of mothers with many children, where they posted a link to participate in the project. She filled out the application and, together with her three children, underwent offline psychological rehabilitation for three weeks.
– For some reason, people in Ukraine are ashamed to talk about psychological help. When I informed my relatives that my children and I were going to psychological rehabilitation, they reacted very strangely: “Why do you need it?” – Yana says. – There were mothers in our group who were afraid to participate [in the program] at all. What if it’s a scam or women trafficking? It can’t be true that someone volunteered to take care of you for free for three weeks just like that.
Such a reaction to help is very common. Ukrainian women are such strong women that they try to deal with all problems, including psychological ones, on their own.
– We at the Masha Foundation receive thousands of requests from women, but sometimes girls refuse at the last moment. And I observe a trend: whatever Ukrainian women suffer from, they believe that they do not need help. Because the strong and proud can do everything themselves, – says Masha Yefrosinina. – But we want to show our Ukrainian women there’s no shame in asking for help! And this should be done at least for the sake of your children. Because healthy mothers should be with them.
Yana admits that before the camp in the Carpathians, she lived as if in a cocoon. At first, the coronavirus happened, then the war, and then the occupation. A woman had to be in good shape as she had to be an example for children. And she could not allow herself to cry, to be afraid, to relax.
– I, and all of us, are used to being unbreakable moms, – says Yana. – And only when my children and I arrived at the camp and sat opposite the psychologist, only then did I understand what was happening to me. How deep the chasm in the soul was. After the camp, I didn’t become a different person, but with the psychologist, we have elicited the path that I’m on now. It felt as if there was a reinforced concrete wall in front of me, against which I fought and did not know where to go next. How to get around it. And then we found a crack through which we can look ahead and move into the future. When the other program participants and I took the last photo at the station before going home, we were all smiling. And they were surprised because they had arrived in a completely different state.
The “Unbreakable Mom” program supports the participants of the offline camp remotely for another three months. Girls have the opportunity to work online with a psychologist, and our volunteers help with job searches for those who need it.
“Masha Fund” calls on all unbreakable moms, all Ukrainian girls not to be afraid to ask for help. And accept it.
